Jamie Takes Lessons from TV Weddings

New houses are exhausting, hence the lack of posts.  But I promise to try harder...

Next month my very good friend Krystal is getting married and I am headed off to the Bay Area for the wedding weekend. Krystal (and her fiancé David) have been quite on top of all this wedding coordination and I know that it’s going to be a fantastic wedding. And I also know that they are low key enough to deal with whatever hiccups may occur. Because what we have all learned from TV is that something will inevitably happen that is, hmmm… unplanned. But of course, we’ve also learned some helpful hints to making the big day enjoyable and coping with whatever happens: As I began work on this post about pop culture weddings, it became increasingly apparent that while there are an abundance of quality TV weddings to discuss, this really needed to be about How I Met Your Mother. I mean, yes, Ben Wyatt's dream bachelor party and Krystal's bachelorette game night as well as her wedding shower were pretty much the same thing (Settlers of Catan, of course). And the best example of having your friends officiate your wedding is clearly Howard & Bernadette's rooftop nuptials on The Big Bang Theory. Liz Lemon taught us that you can do whatever you want for your wedding, just make sure it’s what you actually want. This was almost a blog about Friends & HIMYM weddings, but as amusing and enlightening all the Friends’ wedding wackiness was, it just didn't seem quite as relevant at this moment. And really, how could it? How does it get any more current than the fact that Krystal & David are going to share an anniversary with Robin & Barney. These characters are us. Okay, not exactly, they are TV characters. And Krystal and David are definitely not Robin and Barney.  But they are our age. They have friends getting married, buying houses, having kids, but still not completely comfortable (or at least experiencing varying levels of comfort) with this adult thing we seem to have stumbled upon as we hit 30+. We understand these characters, and share their recurring inside jokes. So when looking for wedding wisdom, it seems only appropriate to see what we can glean from all the weddings (and near-weddings) they have attended over the last 8 seasons, chronologically:

Claudia (& Stuart)’s Wedding: The wedding of the gang’s friends Stuart and Claudia teaches us many things. Claudia is always a little intense, but she’s definitely one step from a complete breakdown here. So it would seem that the participation of both bride & groom in the wedding planning and a solid support structure for both is important.  Also, timely and accurate RSVPs.

Memorable Quote: Claudia: No, no, no.... Listen to me, if I go to my wedding and the cake is not Tahitian vanilla, I will come down there and burn your little shop to the ground. Haha, do you wanna find out if I'm kidding?

Applicable to K&D’s Wedding?: They totally have this one covered. All hands on deck, great family & friends, and I have not heard of anyone being threatened.

Lily & Marshall: What we learn from one of TV's most perfect couples is that no matter how much you plan, things will not go exactly as you want. Accepting that upfront will make everything much smoother. Even if the harpist goes into labor, the flowers don’t show but your ex-boyfriend does and the groom shaves his head to rid himself of frosted tips. People will step up to help out. But maybe we should get Marshall’s law school buddy Brad (played by the… I am hesitating on word choice here, but I’m going to go just for it, delicious Joe Manganiello) on hand just in case. Except that he does cause some damage. That’s okay, it’s worth it. You have to make sacrifices. I have gotten off track (Manganiello has that effect on me) and I haven’t even mentioned how Barney teaches us all how you can get whatever you need at a wedding as long as you explain that it is “for the bride.” But I would be remiss to not mention that they also give us the most important lesson of all: for the love of all that is holy be sure to eat.

Memorable Quote: Barney: May I have everybody's attention...
[Everyone ignores Barney]
Barney: It's for the bride.
[Everyone stops talking and turns towards Barney]

Applicable to K&D’s Wedding?: Everyone already knows to make sure the bride eats. We’ve seen the alternative.

Barney's brother James: I know what you’re saying. Wait, this episode is before Lily & Marshall’s wedding. Yes, but the actual wedding is after it. In this episode Barney learns that his brother James is planning to give up the single life and settle down with his partner Tom. Barney is upset, but ultimately caves after learning James & Tom plan to adopt a baby. No one can resist a cute baby.

Memorable Quote: “If gay guys start getting married, then suddenly the world is going to be doing it. That’s how it works: they start something, then six months later, everyone follows… Gay marriage is going to cause single life as we know it to die out. Think of how the American family will be strengthened.” .

Applicable to K&D’s Wedding?: There will be adorable children. And a bunch of people who agree with Barney, that the American family would be strengthened if James & Tom could just get married.

Stella & Ted’s almost wedding: Pay attention to the red flags. The proper thing to take away should probably be no exes allowed (and My Best Friend's Wedding would probably back that up), but I think the first red flag was the lack of booze and meat.

Memorable Quote: Marshall: There's no meat.
Lily: There's no alcohol.
Marshall: It gets worse—I am 90% sure that guy you were talking with used to be lead singer of the Spin Doctors

Applicable to K&D’s Wedding?: Booze & meat are on the menu. No red flags here.

Ted's Mom & Clint: We don’t get a ton from the actual wedding here, this is really more about Ted and his house, which is a disaster in the episode but turns out to be the house we have been glimpsing whenever they remember to show us his kids (who are amazingly still listening to this story).

Memorable Quote: Ted: I'm gonna set up the grill out back, it's gonna be a total sausage fest. Party. Burgers. We'll do burgers.

Applicable to K&D’s Wedding?: This is all about the inside jokes when one from your own life (SausageFest) makes its way into a show, you’ve kind of got to make that the quote, even if it doesn’t have anything to do with the theme of your blog.

Punchy’s Wedding: Ted is terrible with toasts. Remember: “The happy couple needs to hear this! Things end, but from the ashes of your statistically probable divorce, hope can rise anew.” Oh, Ted. But thankfully he has wonderful friends (although I am still not sure why they all came to Punchy’s wedding) who step up and help him out. Because, “the only person who loves Ted Mosby more than Marshall Erickson is drunk Marshall Erickson.” We see in this episode why it was so very thoughtful of Ted & Robin to keep their break-up a secret through Lily & Marshall’s wedding, so as not to deflect attention on their big day. When Marshall announces Lily’s pregnancy and the bride thinks he is talking about her, all hell breaks loose. But, the guy’s name is Punchy, I feel like he can handle a little craziness at his wedding.

Applicable to K&D’s Wedding?: No idea, but if anyone has any pregnancy or break-up announcements, maybe hold off. 

Barney& Robin: We’ve seen a little cold feet, but we’ve also seen a happy bride dancing with her father at the reception. We know Ted is going to meet the elusive mother (finally), but the rest is a mystery.

Memorable Quotes: Ted: Oh thank God! Barney Stinson needs you right before his wedding, you assume there's at least one dead stripper in the closet.

Applicable to K&D’s Wedding?: It’s the same damn day. I mean, that’s pretty much it. Well that, and we don’t know what will happen.  But I have a feeling it will be a spectacularly good time.

What we’ve learned from the all of these, is that no matter what happens along the way, relax and enjoy the day. And keep the bride fed.

 

Coming Soon: Sarah follows this with an analysis of Friends weddings, complete with detailed quotes that she does with no research.  She’s like an elephant.